Arden - a warning from History
By Jim Goldstraw
Wade is nemesis at Hampton
There are so many lessons to be learnt from History. Hubris, humility and as Einstein said "if we fail to learn from the past, we are destined to repeat it. And so to Hampton on a windswept evening, with regular distractions courtesy of EasyJet and BMI.
It was a strong twelve that assembled - with the welcome return of the new father Nol Mortimer (is he the son of Dennis?-Ed) and the bearded James Ball (grandson of Kenny?- Ed). We knew it would be tough - and we were right. I will now compare the entire game to the 1930s as I think the comparisons are startling.
Hampton at 8 Oclock was like Europe in 1933. The region was short of cash (I had forgotten my wallet), but more importantly, there was a menace on the horizon - a small, dangerous presence that looked like nothing from a distance . In Europe in 1933 this was Hitler. At Hampton - it was Greg Wade.
The game began. Sils were slightly complacent with the fact that Hampton only had 10 men. However, the first 10 minutes should have been a warning. Hampton were speedy, dangerous and they looked hungry. An early flick was conceded which fortunately was put wide by the diminutive Wade. We instantly went up the other end, and Mr Messy score an excellent goal. 1-0. and were lulled into a false sense of security. Wade equalised, and it should have been clear what a threat he was. He has the size of an Elf, the speed of a gazelle and the attitude of Mussolini on the pitch. He is a threat - but he was never really dealt with.
Cap'n Perkins (aka Neville Chamberlain) went and did a double team with Mark Duvet (aka the League of Nations). For a while, Hampton were quietened, and like the great powers of the 1930s, the threat was ignored. Good goals from Mr Messy again, Tzatziki and Right Said Fred with a great reverse stick made it 4-1 at half time.
Half time was like the Great Disarmament Conference of 1935. Hampton only have 10? - Shall we give them one of ours? How about that very good, very fit player on the side - could he play for them? It was like listening to a collective suicide pact from the team. As my old grandfather used to say - 2never give your grandmother a full toss on her 80th Birthday". In the meantime, Wade lurked like the approaching Black Death.
The second half saw a full 11 men of Hampton give it full reign. The complacency of half time was shattered like a vase falling of the kitchen table. The forward line of Danks, Kent and Chuckapony were isolated. It became a siege. Mortimer was like the Maginot Line in the centre of defence and he was solid. However, Hampton came though Belgium and Switzerland instead. Hampton penetrated more than Peter Stringfellow, and four times Wade appeared like the Angel of Death to score. It was 5-4 and a defeat was on. Fortunately, Right Said Fred equalised with 3 m,inutes to go. It ended 5-5 and a lesson in appeasement was learnt by the men of Sils.
It was actually an excellent game well umpired by Sicknote and his female companion. Man of the Match was the League of Nations (wasn't he marking Hitler -Ed), and a few beers were sunk after the game.
The moral - if you are going to throw someone of a cliff - make it a high one. Don't let them get back up.