Do Stourport dream of electric sheep?
Another lesson from the Masters of the Universe
The classic 1951 Robert Wise epic 'The Day the Earth stood still' features the arrival of an advanced species in Washington. The Alien messenger is called Klaatu and he is protected by a huge, humourless robot called Gort. Why is this relevant? Well dear reader because this always seems to fit how Stourport seem when they arrive? The Stephen Tabb
Arena was filled with a large crowd as David Knott and his cohorts disembarked from their spaceship to teach the Sils the latest lesson in knowing your place. It was a gloomy night too, with rain and wind sweeping across. It felt like standing duty on the Inkerman Heights in the Crimea before the debacle of the Battle of Sebastapol.
It was a strong Sils team. The presence of the All Seeing Eye is always welcome, and we had the return of Rod Stewart's greatest hit at left back (S. Aylin - Sailing - do you get it?- Ed), and the formidable bulk of Mortimer was back in at sweeper. You felt as though he would be busy.
Sils started well. Cap'n Gary, and the pacey Tangerine were a problem for the invaders from Mars. However, Stour were always a danger, and we had several near misses before 'Gort' Knott struck home from an oblique angle. You could hear a collective moan from the packed stands, and this led to 10 minutes of Stourport pressure. There were several shorts, and one was finally struck home with power - despite the best efforts of our tame colonial Simon McGuirk
. It was 2-0 and already felt like being a long day. However, we then rallied well, and went close. The hard-working Gray and the deceptively fleet-footed Thurman were a threat, and Levenger was in mounteback mode up front. It was 2-0 at half-time, and as we assembled in the goal - damp, tired and wary of the future - Cap'n Gary inspired his with his Ludlow tan and Henry V style words.
The second half was a much better contest. We challenged them well, and the deserved goal for Sils came courtesy of the hard-working Top of the Pyramid. Stour were also having to be more feisty in their tackling - it did to quote Matilda prove that you 'have to be a little bit naughty'. Anyway - enough Tim Minchin and on with the report. Stour roared back with pace and aggression. They score more goals despite the best efforts of the resolute defence, and it was a tired Old Boys side that saw us lose 5-1 at the end. One thing that is good about Sils is that the effort is there - in spades. So it was another defeat against the threats to humanity. However, they stayed for refreshments, and ate all the food. We have a re-match soon in the cup, so it will be interesting to see what they have learnt from this. We can play better - and hope to see the attack ships on Orion's belt when we beat them on Bonfire Night. As 11pm arrived, the visitors returned to the ship and left the planet to return to their home planet. I was glad when they left - they scare me.