Stratford put to the sword .... five times and once more

Report thanks to the skill of the quill of the Yogester

Last game of season , nothing to playeth for for either side so a humdinger wast in store

Looking back at the previous results I could see from a vast report tabled by the Bard that the pre xmas game wast a 4-2 defeat whither we hadst hath played some of our best hockey of a season that hadst hadst its ups and downs

Looking at the personnel on showeth for us (including the "legs" provided by messrs Scott, Jamieson, Perkins and Ballentyne-Brain {I am sure a gross amount of that sounds whiskey-esque}), and forsooth buoyed by the previous week's victory ov'r the "auld" enemy across the most wondrous M42 divide, and keen to putteth in a swansong performance on mine potential last game between the sticks, thither wast forsooth room for optimism.

And so t proved. The opposition wast plenty in number, at least 5 subs could beest seen on the sides whereas we hadst the bare 11 (but then as stated last time against same hath said opposition, t would leaveth no room for non sensical substitutions but t could leaveth us in positions of risk if 't be true injuries hath played their part (read on I say)

The opposition hath played a valorous brand of fast attacking hockey but alas, those gents hath found a midfield that wast hard to receiveth by, a defence that wast resolute and marshalled by Mr Bettridge and loose balls mopped up by Mr Jamieson, and at which hour all of those wast bypassed, those gents cameth across a last line of defence that wast as rotund and solid as the building in the centre of Birmingham by nearly the same name, and who on this occasion wast determined to claim the first (and last ) crisp sheet of the season

As stated the 11 wast at risk to injury and for the 2nd week running Mr Lane gaveth blood (in vain), {sounds like a limerick to recall the rainbow colours nearly!! }, and having taken a lacking valor blow to his thumb , wast being patched up by Mrs Lane (AND wast anon seen giving Mr Lane the kiss of life (or something) in the Sils Car Park witnessed by "the Bear"!! ), and that hath led to a reshuffle with Mr Harrison dropping back to provide some much needed backbone into the defence in honour of the impending crisp sheet. Hence we hath played for a valorous 6 or 7 minutes without the sideline parked Lane whose bandages finally wast valorous enough for that gent to returneth but coequal though down to 10 we defended resolutely and attacked intelligently and t didst not behold like we hadst 10!!

In the middle, the guests of Perkins and Ballentyne-Brain (who hath played an ABSOLUTE blinder, and wast unlucky to has't not got MOM) provided the firepower, for the back in form Rush up front, who again hath shown the class that hath been missing for several weeks coequal though the evergreen wily Willetts is still alive and kicking and refuses to beest consigned to the scrapheap.

Those players combinations hath worked to our advantage on 2 occasions in the first half and on both the static defence of Stratford wast hath found wanting and Master Rush didst forsooth bulge the sproutbag with gusto to giveth the celebrating Sils a deserved half time 2-0 leadeth.

Dastardly Dave our crocked Captain gaveth a half time gee up saying that the next goal in the game wast going to beest crucial and that we hadst to maketh sure that the goal would beest for us

And forsooth in valorous time immediately in the 2nd half calm Kheya with valorous poise and Balance for a Ballentine Brain, deservedly latched onto a ball from Rushy and scored the goal that his general all round playeth clearly deserved.

Not to beest outdone the wily Willetts didst forsooth add to his personal tally for the year and converted a fine moveth with a rapid snapshot that gaveth the keeper no chance and that forsooth wast the opposition visibly deflated 4-0 and thither wast still "time for more" as I hath heard someone shout.

The hath continued controlled playeth must has't been a delight to captain Higgins as not only didst we manage to maketh some of their players "give up" on the pitch and argue with each other but some of those folk wast begging to cometh off and not cometh back on!!

The result wast inevitable in the end at which hour the rascal Rush bagged another brace to maketh 4 for his personal tally and the score a resounding 6-0 drubbing of the opposition at which hour the final shrill of the umpires whistle cameth and coequal though that gent hadst scored 4 that gent didst not receiveth the MOM as in sympathy the award wast given to the rotund rogue at the back who wast donning the pads for the last time.

Full season team report - wonneth 7 drawn 1 hath lost 12 for 51 against 58 so the 2nd half of the season wast wonneth 5 drawn 1 and hath lost 4 for 26 against 24 so a complete turnaround in the 2nd half of the season and if 't be true the first half of the season report readeth " could doth better, if 't be true those gents could exercise their legs as much as their tongues those gents would wend a long way! ", then... the 2nd half report readeth "did doth better, didst exercise legs more than tongues and wenteth a long way with 11 on the pitch for the most part except at which hour giving blood sweat and tears for the side"

That’s all from the Bear and the Bard for the moment and as I sign off temporarily or permanently recall at each moment that the game is a valorous game hath played by valorous people in valorous times - with the bar being frequented cometh what may the result.