35DD not enough on Thursday night

Well my dear old things. We assemble again for another summer of sweaty old folk, long road trips, random nicknames and nonsense talked in the bar.
The team had a road trip to Coventry. They arrived from all points of the compass, and to watch the team assemble on the pitch was like watching the Magnificent 7 assemble - first 1 then 2 and then a few more. It was genuine tension until we had all arrived. There was then a rigorous warm-up which largely consisted of comparing injuries, talking about the weather being too hot and occasionally hitting the ball at 100mph from three feet away toward the hapless GK that was quaking in the goal.
It is a pleasure to see how quick our team is when we play Vets. However, watching some of the 'yoof' of Berkswell warm up, I felt we were like a video on pause at times. How would we cope? (Cheat? - Ed).
It was a pleasure to welcome back Swede as our umpire. He is fast becoming a sinister looking character - something of a cross between Ming the Merciless and a South London gangster. But he is a fine umpire, and helped the game flow.
It was a fast start by the visitors. It was like being in Bomb Alley in the Falklands for the first 10 minutes. It was lucky that the defence of Christ, Tog 14, Shaun and the Dead were on form. Several last ditch tackles were made, and Strawbs made some good saves. However, the finger was eventually taken out of the dyke (Careful now - Ed), and Berkswell scored. The Vets needed a response and it arrived soon. Tagliatelle and Right Said Fred were causing problems, and a lovely flowing move saw the ball slotted home from 3 centimetres by Tog 14 (Summer rules now - it's Tog 8 please - Ed). 1-1 at half time and time for a cool down.
Captain Dr Crippen gave another inspired talk (Bald GP - DO YOU GET IT? -Ed), and we felt that we were playing well. Berkswell did have 16 players and this (combined with their youth) was to play it's part in the 2nd half. The Old Boys dug deep, and everyone put in a good shift. However, a second goal for the home side was slotted in. This was a blow, and we pushed forward again. Right Said Fred pushed forward a lot - including flattening the opposition Captain with all the grace of an Antarctic ice breaker. The former singer protested his innocence and his defence was as effective as a catflap for an elephant. There was a third Berkswell goal before the Old Boys struck back with a Danks finish. It was a great goal that will live long in the memory. I suppose you could say Danks for the Memory (Good grief - Ed). Could we do it? We had a great chance but Fifty Shades missed a back post header (Sorry? - Ed). I mean it - he could have headed it in - but failed to take one for the team. Shocking!
So it was a 3-2 defeat. However, it was a much better team performance and there were some top efforts. MoM was close Tarketheotter was awarded it for a fine running effort.
We then retired to a student pub for tea and medals. It was decided that a proper warm up routine will be conducted in the future (WTF??? - Ed), and this could be interesting. It will either lead to an improvement in PC conversion OR a spate of injuries before the match. Time will tell