Wet as an Otters Pocket
By Jim Goldstraw
Mortimer's Magic makes Bloss Cross
The scene - Lode Heath. The weather - Awful. The opposition - Young. Prospects - Mixed.
So once again the merry men of Sils gathered for another summer sojourn. Cap'n Gary had assembled a strong team, from the skill of Stephen to the pace of Gray. We felt that Bloss would be out for revenge, and indeed once the match started they attacked with vim and vigour. At times, we were in danger of being overrun, but heroics from the defence and Gary Perkins
kept them out. However, after 12 soggy minutes, Bloss took the lead from a well struck shot that beat Jim Goldstraw
. So - on the anniversary of Bastille Day, could the Sils storm the ramparts of the Bloss defence. The answer was a resounding yes. Nick Oppenheimer
is returning to something like his best, and the redoubtable Adam Kent and Warren Gray
were always a handful. Andre also joined the fray having been cleverly held in reserve by the skipper. Firstly Gray hit home an exocet from a matter of inches, and then in possibly the best move of the match, Dre played a cheeky one-two to strike the ball home past the despairing Bloss keeper.
Sils coped admirably with the inconsistency of the guest umpire from Warwick Hockey Club (did anyone know him? I have not seen him round this neck of Giza - Ed), and played some good stuff. The defence was firm, the midfield like the Harry Styles (good in one direction), and the forwards never stopped. HALF TIME - 2-1 to the Sils.
The team talk was positive (no it wasn't - Nol). Gary felt that we were playing well (no he didn't - Nol). The rain was still falling (nonsense - it was lovely - Nol). As we started the second half, we felt there was a good chance of a result (!!!??? - Nol).
Bloss started to second half with intent, and we were under the cosh from the first minute. Again, the defence held firm for a while but Bloss equalised from an overlap from the right. They then score again to make it 3-2 and the huge watching crowd (Tracey Perkins and a brolly) were in despair. However, the team raised their game again. Dre was having an interesting battle with the Bloss midfield, and it almost developed into genuine handbags. God sense prevailed, and the game neared the last 10 minutes. A thrilling Sils attack, Kent approached the D with the subtlety of a B-52 bomber, a melee from a short, a foot on the line and Sils awarded a Penalty Flick. The Falstaffian figure of Mortimer stepped forward. As the defence were discussing the merits of keeping it low, Mortimer despatched the ball in the apex of the goal with all the pace of an American entering a burger bar. 3-3. The crowd went wild - well she nearly dropped her crisps.
As the game neared its end, there was time for Simon Stephen to receive a green card, and for one or two more Bloss attacks. In the end, 3-3 and nobody drowning was a good result.
So to the showers. The smart money was to use the school as they were better. Ten minutes later, shivering due to icy water deluging from the heads, it was seen as a bad call by Jim Goldstraw
. So it was back to Bloss for a debrief.
Sandwiches and beers were consumed as we listened to the three umpires discuss various situations they had been in. Oh the hours must just fly by at the MRHUA meetings! Man of the Match was interesting as Nol won (no I didn't - Nol) and initial discussions began about starting a Sils club in Nottingham (??? - Ed). Next week, the Sils take on Yardley Heathens at the Steve Tabb Arena. It is on Challenge just after Bargain Hunt and before Bullseye. Have a nice day.