Once again - Sils come unstuck against Stratford

Before I start this report, there was a choice for me to make. Do I follow the example of the 1st team and just not bother to write one. Do I follow the example of the Ladies 1st team and deliver outrageous propaganda similar to that of North Korea? Could I take inspiration from the 4th team and make the report so wide-ranging and full of anecdote that the result is almost impossible to gain (deliberate perhaps? -Ed). Instead I decided to sticking to historically accurate, mildly offensive ribbing with a message at the end. All good stuff.
As we assembled on a cold evening, the opponents from Shakespeare land only had 10. As we had 12, there was a lot of middle-class chat about it not being fair, we should play for them etc. This failed to take into account two big things. Firstly, whenever we do this - we lose. Secondly, I don't recall charity coming our way very often. As my old grandfather used to say 'you never give your grandmother a full toss - even on her 80th Birthday.
So we gave them a player. And we started. And they scored. The Sils were wandering around with all the urgency of a Sunday driver who had a month to complete his journey. Maybe it was complacency? Who knows. The Stratford players were honest and hard-working - but not as strong as past fixtures. People were strolling around like Rohypnol had been served prior to push-back. Finally, we began to get some urgency and the willing Danks and Thurman put a shift in. The evergreen and dangerous Stephen also cause problems - but we still failed to hit the target.
Half time - 1-0 down and some feisty words from one or two players led to Sils starting the 2nd half at pace and scoring in the 3rd minute. This really did feel that it could be the start of something. However, the old habits from Period 1 returned and with the best Stratford player (one G Perkins!!) controlling the midfield, and with the forwards failing to hit the target enough, it was no surprise that we were hit on the break twice more before the end. 3-1 and a very disappointing effort.
It has been a weird winter. We seem to be a bit slower, a bit less driven and a bit too nice at time. When you think we play a mixture of automatons, lunatics and pyschos in other teams, maybe we need a bit more 'arse' in our team. A splendid supper was enjoyed, but then the true disappointment of the evening was twisted in by a Stratford player saying 'cheerio - well we didn't expect that chaps'. No - and I bet you wont remember it next time when we need a player. Oh well - no sour grapes here matron. Next week, we visit Berkswell. That will be fun.