It was Jurassic Park v Last of the Summer Wine

So it was a match against the Veterans of the Isle of Man. Captain Perkins attempted to create an 'old school' veterans XI, and thus had scoured various museums, old people's homes and cemeteries in order to find appropriate candidates. Mike Betteridge made a welcome return, and there was space up front for Crimean War veteran Keith Willetts (is that the optometrist? - Ed). There was also a nod to the 'yoof' with the inclusion of Thurman and Tangerine. The opposition were 'the Peaky Blinders' in theme - but there was more of a resemblance to Foggy and Clegg from LOTSW. Still it promised to be fun.
The game started at a pace - slow. The ball was being passed well be the Sils, and they proceeded to ping the ball around. Dovey was back (is he the Worcester chap? - Ed), and he brings welcome stability to the midfield. Up front, Willetts and Danks were fooling for tourists by making runs for the previous pass, and thus confusing the defence. Sils put the pressure on, and scored three times before the break. It was pleasing to see players score their first international goals. In defence, marking was being done in a 'laissez-faire' approach which led to some interesting moments for Jim in goal. Still - we had kept the sheet clean.
Half time and a relaxed team talk from Captain Perkins (who really is very nice - Ed), which mainly centred upon being merciful. He sounded like Portia with the tone of his chat. Second half started, and we nearly scored immediately, but this was countered by some attacks from the visitors from the Isle. In order to make things more even, Thurman was placed in defence which caused chaos, and led to a PF being awarded which was duly converted after the visiting umpire suggested that the beer kitty would be increased if Jim let the goal in. 3-1. Sils responded with a second Willetts goal (first ones in colour? -Ed), and then the tourists scored again. Once more goals were traded, and Sils finished with a collectors item - a goal from John Scott (Matron - pass the smelling salts - Ed). It was 6-3, with goals from Willetts (x2), Danks, Tzatziki, Thurman and John Scott. It was a relaxing evening.
Thus - to the bar. A splendid meal, copious amounts of beer bought by the tourists, and a speech from Gary Perkins. The opposition were very effusive in their praise, and the MoM for the Sils was Keith Willetts. This was Keith's first win since Brexit and was well-deserved. So Sils have an unbeaten international record in 2018.